Hi,
I’m probably not much of a writer and I don’t think I can put together anything you’d want to put on your website… 😉 But I’ll write you something, do with it what you like… 😀
This was already my second time in the dark with you
The first time was in October 2016. That first time it was a kind of test for me, whether I could even last it out. I exercised a lot and mostly battled with boredom. I did gain some insights into myself there, but I didn’t manage to put them into practice. Everyday life somehow ground me down again…
A lot has changed since then
This time it was very different. Since December 2017 I’ve been on my spiritual path, I’m interested in shamanism, I meditate a bit. I’m trying to live in the present (which is pretty hard going 😀 ), and I’m slowly leaving the consumer way of life behind. Permaculture and sustainable living as such really speak to me.
I knew exactly what I was going into the dark for
I knew what I was going into the dark for, what I wanted to sort out and think through, the things I don’t have the headspace for in normal life. I came to several major life decisions and I’m gradually managing to put them into action. My relationship with my wife has become much stronger; I understood what she expects from me and isn’t getting, so I’m working on that a lot. And it’s going well!
I’m not so attached to things any more
I’ve started clearing things out inside me and around me, and I’m putting non-attachment to things into practice.
As for the stay itself, the biggest difference compared with 2016 was mainly the food for me. Back then I had raw food, and for a long time after the retreat I kept thinking fondly of Lenča… Yum 🙂
It’s just that I didn’t enjoy the food much this time…
This time I only really enjoyed it on Sunday, plus all the little desserts – basically everything Léňa made. The person who cooks for you probably thinks vegetarian cooking is anything without meat. They don’t really think about what should and shouldn’t be combined. Sometimes it felt like that fairy tale about the doggy and the pussycat baking a cake. After one meal I had such a boulder in my stomach that if it hadn’t been dark, I’d have gone and thrown it away. So if I ever come to you again, I’ll definitely do it as a fast, on water only. (Unless Lenča goes back to cooking 😉 )
On top of that, after a few days I realised it was bothering me quite a lot that I kept thinking about what Tomáš would bring and when he’d come. I felt like a little animal in a pen, watching out for the farmer. 🙂
This time I even saw the sunrise
It was nice in the cabin, and I was actually glad the air conditioning wasn’t working. The occasional click of the electric heater was more pleasant to me. This time I was even lucky enough to see the sunrise on Saturday, even though I got pretty frozen doing it.
So that’s about it. Have a lovely time there, all of you. I wish you lots of success and happiness, and maybe even a few more children? You’re exactly the kind of people who ought to multiply… 😀
With love, Martin
