Perhaps you’ve been thinking for a while now that you need to switch off completely, but you’re still waiting for the right impulse. Sometimes it takes years before a person finds the courage to take that step into the unknown and try something as intense as coming to a standstill in silence. Read the story of one of our participants, who decided to jump into the process of self-discovery at the moment she felt that the usual ways of calming down were no longer enough. Her journey shows that darkness therapy may be exactly what you’re looking for when you feel the pressure of the world around you and need to find your way back to yourself.
From admiration to my own decision
I first heard about this option a good few years ago. Back then I loved the idea and admired the people who went for it, but at the time it made no sense for me, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. The change only came a few weeks ago, maybe three weeks back, when I heard a woman on a podcast talking about a dark retreat she’d been on. In that instant it all just clicked, and I told myself this was exactly what I needed right now. I found you, and off I went straight away.
The need to stop merely surviving each day
The thing is, I was actually completely overwhelmed. All in all, a lot was coming at me from every direction, and I felt I needed somewhere to quieten my head and be with myself. In everyday life, with so much going on, I was just surviving from one day to the next. I’d been trying meditation on and off, I do yoga, I make an effort with all these things, but it wasn’t enough. I needed to calm down and pull my thoughts together a little. Five or ten minutes of peace hadn’t been nearly enough lately; it was simply too little.
Fear of my own dreams, and a sense of safety
I did have certain worries and fears beforehand. Firstly, I have very vivid dreams and I know I get nightmares too. It’s better at some times than others these days, but even so I wondered whether I’d cope at all. But in the cabin it’s completely different; suddenly your head works in a totally different way. I did have vivid dreams, but they were pleasant ones. I wasn’t afraid of anything at all in there. I simply knew that here, right now, I’m safe, I have my peace and I can focus on that. That sense of safety is definitely a plus point that adds a lot to the experience.
Three nights for freedom in my head
Originally I wanted to go for a week, but at the same time I felt I needed the earliest possible date. I’m the kind of person who, once I’ve decided on something, needs it straight away, ideally the next day. The nearest free dates were for a few days, so I chose three nights. Actually, I’m glad now that it was this short. Maybe I’m not at a stage where I could last a week, but it’s hard to say. In any case, it definitely did what I needed: I managed to calm down and sort out my thoughts. I was even able to be completely without thoughts, which was hugely important for me. Now I feel freer and I’m not so tied to my own thoughts.
A message for anyone thinking about it
If I had a message for people, it would be: definitely don’t be afraid of it. If someone is used to spending time twenty-four seven among people and isn’t used to being alone with themselves, it’s good to practise a bit first and not go straight to the extreme. On the other hand, if someone needs that extreme in order to learn it, then why not. It’s still voluntary; you can leave whenever you want, or you can turn the light on. But if you know how to spend time with yourself and can sit down and be still even for a moment, then darkness therapy is an absolutely brilliant way for you to calm down. It’s a great experience.
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