Hi Lenka and Tom,
I’m only writing my feedback two months after my dark retreat – I didn’t get round to it sooner. But maybe it will be an interesting view from a bit more distance. The idea that I wanted to do a dark retreat came to me out of the blue in December. I was feeling some frustration, tiredness, pressure, and this thought just appeared, and I knew I needed it soon. Of course, Lenka and Tomáš’s place was booked up for ages, but I signed up as a standby for February and I knew it would work out. And it did.
The dark retreat transformed me
I don’t want this to sound like a cliché, but the dark retreat literally transformed me. I don’t want to promise that to anyone else either, because everyone’s experience is different. I think I’m more of an introvert, and in general I recharge in life by needing to be alone. I believe that for sociable types the darkness is an even bigger challenge. So I felt good there, and for the first few days I kept thinking it wasn’t really such a big deal.
I had no expectations and just lazed about, exercised, meditated. And through that slow flow of time and getting closer to my body, in the second half of the retreat I was blessed – I experienced something incredible. It’s hard to describe, but since then I believe that everything is just as it should be. That I should accept the present and not fight it. Everything comes at the right time.
I’ve read it so many times; my brain has seen sentences like “live in the present” over and over. But in the dark I lived it. It’s not something you can grasp with your mind – it was more like an experience of the soul, something you can’t explain in any way, you just feel it. I felt that the world was there for me, that I was accepted, welcome, loved.
So am I happy all the time since the dark? 🙂
Of course not 😀
Crises and frustration still come. But it feels as if I have some kind of anchor. When I close my eyes, I picture myself there, sitting on the meditation cushion where all of this happened. And I know it’s real and that the protective spirit is still with me. And I can handle situations better. In general I’m more on top of things, too.
What helped me go deep inside myself? I had a small drum and a flute with me. Sound vibrations help a lot. Then aroma sprays (I had 7 of them, one for each chakra, and I gradually relaxed). And I came up with a way of keeping a diary in the dark, and I’m incredibly grateful for that, because although your thoughts are clear in the dark, I’m really glad now that I can read them again and it takes me back there.
Thank you for the opportunity!
Kristýna
