Hi Tomáš, Lenka,
I went into the dark full of expectations
I expected to experience a feeling of balance, calm, a state without thoughts, and maybe to realise a few things that would show me the direction to take in my life. Now I realise that it was exactly those expectations that were out of place, because basically none of that happened. What surprised me most was that I didn’t experience a thought-free state, apart from a few moments. On the contrary, so many things were racing through my head that I was amazed myself.
A talk with Tomáš helped me
During the retreat Tomáš explained to me something I had already heard and read many times, but evidently I needed to hear it again: “Thoughts are around us all the time and they will always race through your head, the important thing is not to pay attention to them”. That was my exercise. I also did yoga very often and tried to keep my attention on the present. Unfortunately I only partly managed it.
Time?
I really appreciated the sense of time flowing. It happened that I thought only a few hours had passed, and then, when they brought me food, I found out that a whole other day had gone by. During the retreat I basically wasn’t bored at all.
I perceived with other senses
I enjoyed the feeling of not seeing and having to perceive everything only through touch and smell. I got to know the space by feel quite quickly, and after that I moved around fairly confidently, although I didn’t avoid a few kicks against the walls or the bed 🙂 . In the same way I enjoyed the food, perceived only through smell, touch and taste. The food was amazing. I often try to come back to that sensation when I eat.
I heard what was going on around me
I was worried that the surrounding sounds would disturb me. Even though in the cabin you can hear when someone starts a car in the yard, or when the neighbour, whose fence runs right next to the cabins, drives his tractor. Now and then I also heard a thud from the neighbouring cabin (the cabins are fairly close to each other). In the end these sounds didn’t bother me at all. On the contrary, I enjoyed the birdsong.
I really enjoyed sleeping and getting up whenever I felt like it or needed to. I wasn’t governed by time, light or obligations. A beautiful feeling.
I really want to thank Tomáš for the talk after the retreat ended, which I was grateful to him for. I want to thank Lenka and Tomáš for the space they have built and for how they looked after me.
When I then left, I kept the feeling of calm, balance and stillness during the car journey and for the whole rest of the day. By the next day this feeling of calm had faded.
David
