Hello Tomáš and Lenka.
I need to say a few things at the start so my text makes sense. I’m a practical bloke, I can’t write as flowery and nicely “esoteric” as the others. I write the truth and get straight to the point. Meditation, contemplation and practical therapies (as a client – regression therapy, for example) have never come easily to me, because on the one hand I’m a logical creature, and on the other I have a very restless mind.
Right now things are going crap, total rubbish. The effect the dark retreat had on me is largely gone. I’ve fallen back into the merry-go-round of everyday life with the same frustrations, hopes, dreams, loves, expectations and dissatisfaction with myself. I’m restless and hectic again. But maybe the Dark helped me subconsciously and I just don’t feel it yet… I’ll see, and let it surprise me.
I’m glad I did the Dark
But even so, I’m very, really very glad I could do the Dark with you! I didn’t get the feeling that anything fundamental or groundbreaking was revealed, I didn’t discover the truth about the universe or the meaning of life. But it was still worth it.
I hesitated before going in
I have to admit that the day before I started, I was hesitating about whether to go. I was scared/worried that a week of “doing nothing” would drive me completely mad, because I can’t stay still for 5 minutes (unless I’m asleep). I have a very scattered mind that won’t let me rest. It constantly churns out stimuli and basically can’t be stopped. But imagine my surprise when I didn’t go mad! It did take me 3 days to calm down, but then I could work on myself psychologically.
For the first time in my life I was able to calm my mind and meditate. I could talk undisturbed with my inner child and even with my adviser.
What did the Dark give me?
The Dark gave me a certain amount of calm and balance. The certainty that I’m walking in the right direction. Whenever I think of that, I remember the quote that the wisest people walk their own path. Though I’m a terribly long way off being the wisest person (a few thousand light years, probably)!!
During the Dark, the negative sides of my personality also became clear, of course – ones I know about, naturally, I just consciously try to play them down more or less and not really look at them. But I didn’t discover any demons I’d have to be afraid of, or that could plunge me into acute psychosis.
My experience, overall impression and emotional experience of the Dark? Not transferable.
Practical things: the vegetarian food was excellent – and that’s coming from me, a committed carnivore! The cabin was just the right size. The temperature was easy to adjust. I could hear the planes, but they didn’t bother me at all.
An important observation to finish
I have one very important observation to finish with: if you can, go by train, bus, boat, submarine, plane, on an elephant, or get someone to drive you there and back. I don’t recommend driving a car after the Dark. I’m an experienced driver. I drive fast and aggressively, but safely. I do about 40 thousand kilometres a year. On the morning I left, I felt strange – as if I wasn’t in my own skin, or more precisely in my own body. I got behind the wheel and drove really, really slowly. And even so, in the very first village I nearly smashed myself up. I badly misjudged a bend (that was a first in my life!!), and nearly flew off the road. Then I had to get a large Red Bull and a coffee at a petrol station, otherwise I couldn’t have carried on. On the way home (about 250 kilometres) I had to stop 3 times, because I still felt strange – as if I wasn’t anchored in this world.
Wishing you a lovely day and plenty of rain (for nature), I’ll say goodbye
Dan
