Dear hosts, Lenka and Tomáš.
Thank you so much for doing what you do. And for doing it so well. My dark retreat with you was a very special experience for me; I learned things about myself, including some I didn’t particularly want to know. But those matter too. And I also had a rest. One of the best holidays I’ve ever treated myself to. I’m seriously thinking I’ll need a “second round”.
Thank you once again for taking care of me, even though it disrupted your schedule. I found the e-mail afterwards. I hadn’t read it. I’d probably divide the retreat into two categories. The service you provide, and the dark retreat itself, where we, the participants, have to do the work.
A dark retreat before meals and after meals
The service was excellent. I got my bearings in the cabin quickly and put my things away so that I could always find them when I needed them. The dark retreat was really divided into before meals and after meals. My only regret is that I never saw what the food looked like. And that sometimes I couldn’t tell what it was made from. But what I could always tell was that I really liked it. For me it was nice to have at least a brief contact with someone, mostly with Tomáš.
The dark retreat itself was my work
The retreat itself, in other words my work. The darkness didn’t bother me at all; as one participant wrote: “the darkness received me kindly”. Exactly that, the darkness received me kindly and was very pleasant for me. Thank you for the headphones too, I used them a lot. They helped me isolate myself even more and get deeper into myself? That’s roughly how I’d describe it. Once I even fell asleep in them. Even though the routine was always the same, I wasn’t bored. The first days I slept a lot. Before meals exercise, sleep, then mantras and little prayers, sleep, drawing, sleep, food, shower, sleep and so on round and round. From about Wednesday? I slept less, so the mantras and little prayers became more frequent. What was strange for me was that, on the one hand, I could find my way around the space very well and I “saw” the things I had there. When I reached for them, they were about half a metre to one side. And also, when I switched the light on afterwards, I found that the dimensions of the space where I’d spent a week were completely different.
The hardest day of the dark retreat was Friday.
I was already aware that the dark retreat was coming to an end and I had a strong urge to end it right away. I paced about like a caged lion for quite a long time, repeating the advice I’d been given when I arrived. Leave on Saturday. In the end I calmed down and things started to happen. Suddenly I remembered people and events I hadn’t thought about for years. And the mantras and little prayers were in full swing. Looking back, I think it was the most important day. I have a feeling I didn’t sleep after that, and yet in the morning I was fresh and felt great. Meeting the other participants was very pleasant too.
Thank you once again for the chance to have these experiences. What would I say to those who are coming? Read the e-mails that arrive later too, and above all. Hold out until Saturday. The feeling when you walk out and know you’ve made it is wonderful.
Best wishes once again.
Zuzana
