MY THERAPIST REMINDED ME OF THE OPTION OF A DARK RETREAT

Take a look with us into the world of deep calm through the personal story of one of our participants, who spent seven nights with us. We decided to share his authentic impressions without any embellishment. Read what this time gave him, how he experienced the darkness and why, in his view, you always have a choice.

How I came out into the light after seven nights

I feel very good. It was powerful, it was interesting, it was eye-opening, and at the same time complicated in places, but actually I feel fully rested and genuinely recharged. I was in for seven nights. That means I went in on Tuesday the seventh and I’m coming out today. The days went by very quickly.

I did discover that I can’t count, though. I was counting how many nights I had left by the meals and the feeding times. I got it wrong, and yesterday I was surprised to find I only had the last night left. I thought I still had another night to go when they brought me the alarm clock.

I think seven days like this is enough. Still, the curiosity stays with me. I wonder what happens afterwards, say on the tenth day or after a month, or when someone stays the longest time, some sixty days. What else would be running through my head and what else could be unlocked, opened up and brought back to mind deep inside the soul. Right now, though, I’m not ready to give myself a slightly longer time. For me, for now, seven nights is the ideal length.

An idea that took four years to ripen

The idea or thought first came up maybe four years back, when I was looking around for it. I was looking at cabins somewhere around Prostějov and thinking it would be a great holiday. But then I told myself it was some nonsense and threw the idea away.

I see a therapist, Mr Mokráš in Brno, and in January he reminded me of the idea and kick-started it again. After that session I told myself that I had actually wanted to try it before. All things considered, my life so far had contained a lot of bad decisions and even worse deeds. This situation actually led me to the point where I could afford to go into the cabin. My job had come to a neat end, I don’t have to worry about housing and I have no family. I had the money for it, the dates suited me perfectly, so I paid. I took a fortnight to decide before I made that step.

Safety in the darkness and answers to questions

The dark retreat gave me a lot of answers to my questions. It showed me a lot of things in my behaviour and in how I perceive myself that I hadn’t seen before. It also revealed some crazy stuff. I found out that I don’t need to be afraid of the dark, because I felt safe in there. The darkness took me in and I merged with the space. I experienced it as a strange but pleasant experience and I felt genuinely fearless.

The comfort in the cabin suited me completely. The underfloor heating warmed the place beautifully, so I felt comfortable. The ventilation worked and the water from the well tasted really good; I drank an awful lot of it. I had everything I needed to have time for myself and to think about the things that trouble me and those that don’t, what I did wrong and where I can improve.

I expected to go through more low moods, but I think I had just one single moment when I wondered what to do. I stuck it out and slept it off. Darkness therapy showed me that my morale was surprisingly good. I had no need to go and try switching the light on. I knew I was going in on the seventh and coming out on the fourteenth. I conquered myself, I didn’t crap myself over it, and I made it through the whole thing.

Don’t be afraid, and remember you always have a choice

Don’t be afraid of it, but give it time. The time has to ripen for you to come here. Bear in mind, though, that the whole time you always have a choice. You needn’t worry that they’ll lock you in here or that you’ll never see anyone again. The meals and all the service and comfort work on site, and the owners went out of their way to accommodate me in everything.

You have a choice because you can switch the light on, stop or leave at any time. No one is going to keep you here. It was precisely this thought that helped me a lot in getting through it all and completing it.