Sharing my week of darkness therapy may come out a bit clumsy, so I’ll start from the beginning.
Who am I?
My name is Lucie and I’m from Hradec Králové.
I’m a mother of two children, a wife, my parents’ first daughter, a sister to two younger brothers.
But what does that say about me?
What am I like? Am I kind, caring, strong? Everyone expects something from me, just as I expected things from them. The expectations are so strong that we reinforce them with words like “That’s just not normal”, “This is simply how it’s done”, “That isn’t done”. But all those expectations only make sure that we lose ourselves.
I had lost myself
I realised I was living everyone else’s life: breakfast ready in the morning, taking the children to school, doing the shopping for my parents. It isn’t that I didn’t like doing it, it’s that I was doing it to meet other people’s expectations … and in doing so I lost myself, I lost my identity and I was living other people’s lives.
Thanks to darkness therapy I found myself
It’s a miracle, thank you that after so many years I could finally see clearly that all my life I had only been giving or meeting expectations, and I hadn’t been living my own life at all. A week-long dark retreat was enough for me to see that I’m the one trying to be the good one, that I’m the one who has expectations, that I’m the source of it all. It doesn’t matter at all what other people expect or think, what matters is what I think they expect and what I think they think.
Thank you once again for the darkness therapy, and I wish everyone peace of mind.
