It took me a day to decide

Are you curious about what goes on in the mind of someone who decides to step away voluntarily from all the bustle of modern civilisation for a whole week? Today’s story offers an honest glimpse into the experience of someone who decided to try darkness therapy and was looking for a space where he could stop time completely for a while. We often hear questions about whether such an experience is safe at all, or what exactly people go through in total darkness. So instead of guessing, we asked a participant who recently completed his first dark retreat.

First steps into the dark and the search for calm

When I woke up into the darkness on the first morning, I felt a completely different kind of calm from an ordinary morning. It’s actually interesting, something new. My eyes had to get used to the light, or rather to its absence. Within ten or twenty minutes my head and eyes adjusted, and what followed was a feeling of release without any stress at all. I had never experienced anything like it before. That whole week was a chance for me to take a break from phones, the internet and everyday contact with people and my surroundings. I didn’t feel the need to overdo anything; I simply felt that this was something I wanted to enjoy there in the dark.

Expectations and the reality of the retreat

I didn’t go into the dark with any specific plans or expectations. I just wanted to let things flow and take in whatever came at any given moment. I didn’t want to know in advance what I would go through or how I would feel. In the end, darkness therapy gave me the main thing I had longed for – the chance to meet myself in silence and calm. At last I had enough time to think about all sorts of things and keep coming back to them. It was exactly as it should have been.

Fear and a sense of safety

People often ask me whether I was scared. If someone were afraid of the darkness itself, I’d understand, because at first I didn’t know how I would react either. I wondered whether the dark would start to bother me after a while. But I got used to it incredibly quickly and felt it more as a kind of bubble around me. I didn’t go through any crisis, homesickness or gloom. The dark retreat felt like a safe place to me. Besides, I knew I could open the door or switch on the light at any time. Overall, the experience didn’t feel dangerous in any way. If you are thinking about something similar, my advice is to think mainly about what exactly it is you’re afraid of.

We have put together the frequently asked questions that people ask before a dark retreat.