Hi Tomáš and Lenka,
yes, it’s been a month already and so far I’ve only written about it on Facebook…
A dark retreat for someone born a while back
I’m one of those born a while back, and since I’ve never even been on a proper holiday, I came up with this for my 64th birthday. Maybe I expected a bit more from it, but I’m grateful for what did happen. After the light went out I rested and it was nice. I waited for my food and just lazed about. I didn’t even want to know what was in the little pots, I wanted to work it out myself. I was surprised how pleasant, friendly and embracing the dark is! By the third day I was bored and started thinking up something to do. I took an empty pot and straight away it became a little drum for shamanic chanting. I’d never tried anything like that and I was surprised how it came pouring out of me-it was there, as if I really were a Native American shaman. ☺then it occurred to me to try angelic singing-and well, that was there too! All my life my vocal range has been limited to barely one octave, and here in the dark, besides my own creations, I managed to sing even “Niňo bambino karo”☺Now and then in the past I used to have dreams where I fly above the earth and sing angelic notes like that….
And of course I was waiting to see whether some of the demons that used to haunt my dreams would turn up. They didn’t. I think I settled things with them many years ago in a lucid dream. “A terrible demon was hurtling down a hill at me, intending to kill me, tear me to pieces, destroy me in the worst possible way, and I did what I always do when I have a nightmare:I forced myself to wake up. As soon as I managed it and “woke up” I realised:No, this is wrong, that’s not how it’s done! and I forced myself to go back into the dream , back into that situation-I stood in the demon’s way and didn’t budge an inch. I looked him in the eye and asked:”Who are you and what do you want from me?” And the dear demon began to turn into a harmless human face and dissolved like steam. So there you go-I’ve sorted out the bogeymen once and for all☺
On the last day the dark seemed very light to me and I had a vision of some big black mountain surrounded by white clouds, or it could also have looked like a cliff surrounded by white sea foam. . . . . and also some geometric images and fractals flickering across my field of vision. The only thing I saw in gorgeous chrome colours, oddly enough, were stacked wooden logs stretching far into the distance. . . though they slid away whenever I focused on them and drifted off somewhere to the side, and more kept appearing. ☺that’s probably because I’ve had them in my head for a few years now, as building material for my little house in the garden.
So, to sum it up, I can say the dark opened a treasure chest for me that I had no idea about. (The singing, that is).
But I have to warn those who are older and maybe have back problems, so they can’t exercise much, that they could end up like me. After a week of lying down your muscles go slack, and in Kutná Hora, while I was running for a train, I discovered that my body from the waist down wasn’t obeying me, a bit like after a lumbar puncture-I felt paralysed.
So, whoever can-exercise! A few days later I was back to normal and now I’m hauling trees out of the woods for our little house.
Finally I want to thank Tomáš, who was on his own all week, he brought us food from a restaurant, it was good, and most of all thank you for the pillow, he brought me his own, because the one that was there was breaking my neck. . . . ☺☺♥
