Every experience our participants tell us about after returning to the light brings a completely new perspective on how darkness can be perceived. This time we bring you the personal story of an expectant mother who decided to stop time for three nights and deepen her connection with the baby she is expecting.
An unexpected decision and a path to myself
I saw an interview somewhere and the topic caught my interest. I wanted to experience it first-hand. I didn’t think about the whole thing very deeply, it just spoke to me. Then a few months ago I decided the right time had come. I definitely wanted to have this experience before giving birth. It seemed like a good opportunity to be with the baby more on a mental level. I have three other children at home and I usually focus more on the older ones. Darkness therapy offered me a way to get even closer to the baby in my tummy and to prepare better for everything.
Challenges in the dark and exploring tastes
The darkness itself didn’t bother me at all. The only problem was the food. I knew I would be getting vegetarian meals, which was a good option for me. But in that deep darkness I didn’t know exactly what was in front of me. I had to coax myself a little before putting food in my mouth. In the end I took the whole difficulty as something interesting to explore. I tried to work out what I was eating and what flavours I could taste. I could have asked when the food was handed over, but I chose this path of discovery.
Safety and preparation during pregnancy
Every woman has to consider how her pregnancy is going as well as her previous births. I asked about everything in advance and looked into people’s practical experience. If I’d had a difficult pregnancy and was facing a premature birth, I wouldn’t have done it. But because I feel well, the dark retreat didn’t bother me at all. Only moving around called for more care. When I go somewhere, I’m slower, I hold my hands out in front of me and I’m careful not to fall or bump into anything. Knowing that I wasn’t completely alone here also gave me a great sense of security.
A deeper connection with the baby
It depends on each mum how she approaches the whole thing. More mindful mums focus more on the baby and make time for it. During a dark retreat all outside influences fall away, and the whole process of sensing becomes much easier. In the light I’m usually dealing with lots of other things, but in the dark I feel the baby more intensely. Three nights may be a short time, and after seven days it would be even stronger, but for deep awareness it works brilliantly. Right now I feel completely at ease – subdued and slowed down, but really good.
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