Perhaps you too have been thinking for a while about stopping for a moment and giving yourself time just for you, in complete silence. At moments like these we are often held back by fear of the unknown, but the experience of those who have already closed the door on the noise speaks clearly. Here is an authentic account of what it’s like when you decide to face your inner shadows and find unexpected calm and strength in them. This story will show you that we often build the biggest obstacles ourselves, in our own minds, and that overcoming them brings a liberating sense of victory.
From an idea to a quick booking
I’d been thinking about this option for an awfully long time, maybe even six months. I kept telling myself it would be really interesting to try, but somehow I didn’t have the courage. At that point I didn’t really have the right inner need either; I was just thinking about it in theory. But then something changed in my life. Suddenly I felt that now was the right time, because I was working through something inside myself. At that moment everything else went out of the window. I immediately started looking for free dates and made a booking. After that it all moved very quickly, and suddenly I was getting ready for my journey.
A childhood fear and my own imagination
I have to admit I was scared. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to cope with being alone with myself, even though it was only for three days. On top of that, I’ve been afraid of the dark since I was little, and I have a very vivid imagination. In the dark, all kinds of sounds often frighten me, and when I can’t see what’s right in front of me, I don’t feel good at all. So darkness therapy was a big challenge for me. But the reality surprised me. The situation itself wasn’t as hard as I’d pictured it. I found that the biggest fear was only in my head. In the end, I felt safe in that complete darkness. When I heard a sound and happened to have my eyes closed, I simply opened them. The darkness was still there, of course, but that made me feel completely fine.
Food as an unexpected sensory experience
Before I arrived, I was also worried about practical things, like food. I was afraid I’d spill it all over myself or miss my mouth with the fork. In the end, though, it felt completely fine. Now and then I touched the plate with my fingers to check whether there was anything left, but I didn’t spill a thing. Because at home I season my food a lot and adjust the flavour, I wasn’t sure whether I’d like the food here. My worries were unnecessary. Everything was excellent, and I experienced the food much more intensely than I normally do at home, where I look at it while I eat.
Coming back with new inner strength
Today I feel rested, calm and above all very strong. I’m proud of myself for getting through the whole dark retreat. The whole experience confirmed to me that everything is just in our heads. Our mind tries to convince us that we won’t manage something new and unknown, and that it’s dangerous or frightening. But when you really need it, you feel it inside. I’d definitely encourage you not to be afraid of taking that last step and confirming your booking. In reality it’s much simpler than it seems in our imagination. For now this experience was enough for me, but I believe there will be moments in my life when I’ll gladly come back to the dark. This isn’t my last time here.
We have put together the frequently asked questions that people ask before a dark retreat.
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