I had booked my retreat six months in advance, the six months flew by and suddenly there I was at your house. It was sleeting and Lenka handed me some wellies to change into, because it really was muddy out there. 😀
A quick look round the cabin, then deciding to hand in my phone, and the info about when the visits and chats would happen. Then all of a sudden I was on my own and all that was left was to switch off the light. 🙂
And there was darkness
So after a few minutes I switched it off and it was dark. The first day went really, really fast. Before I knew it, Lenka was knocking on the door with some excellent food (soup, vegan lentils and nuts with dried fruit).
The second day went quickly too, much like the first, because I slept a lot.
From the third day on, though, things started to happen. I went deeper into myself and the darkness filled me completely.
I hardly slept, and images of important things passed through me, things I knew I was carrying and still needed to resolve. The darkness helped me understand small and hugely important details. I realised I had to sort out specific things from the past to really move forward, and now, within a month of the dark retreat, I’ve managed it and I’m making good progress working on it. I’m truly very grateful and happy about that. I feel joyful and free. 🙂 Liberated and no longer tied to the past.
Four days in a row, Lenka brought me exactly the meals I’d been thinking about the day before. I’ll never forget the apricot bake I had on the last day, Friday. For several minutes I just sat there breathing in the smell of apricots! So simple and so amazing.
The morning after the dark retreat was magical
When I stepped outside at 6 on Saturday morning it was so magical! It was still dark, with a perfectly clear sky before dawn. One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Such a gorgeous Moon and stars. I couldn’t get enough of it. Then Tom welcomed us back “into the world” and we went to breakfast along with two other guys who had been in the neighbouring cabins.
There was so much laughter at breakfast, I couldn’t stop smiling, I felt such joy, happiness and love that there was no other way. 🙂 It was wonderful. I met the children, whom Lenka and Tom have brought up beautifully, and I enjoyed suddenly being able to see everything and take in the sunrise.
In the dark I met myself
I feel the whole week went by very quickly in the end. You meet yourself; there really is nobody and nothing there except “me”, and that’s a big challenge. But once you manage it, you become someone who knows themselves and knows who they are. And in my view, that’s an essential condition for being happy in life in the long run. To know who and what you are, and to accept it deep down.
I recommend it with all my heart to everyone I talk to about it, and I recommend a dark retreat to you who are reading these lines too.
If you’re reading this and thinking about a dark retreat, it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and for the people around you.
I believe I’ll be back at least once more, and I’d love to try it sometime in spring, when all of nature is waking up and its sounds can be heard a bit more than at the turn of November and December.
PS: I can’t remember any other holiday that left me with so much energy, or one where I wasn’t depressed about coming home.
Lenka and Tom, thank you so much for the chance to get to know you and for the opportunity to stay in your cabin for a dark retreat, alone with myself, and to get to know myself.
Say hello to everyone at home and have a wonderful time 🙂
Roman
