Hi everyone,
I’ve been asked to write about my dark retreat. So I’ll try to describe the essence of my stay briefly. As I’m from Slovakia, I hope it won’t be a problem that I’m writing in my native language.
The idea of a dark retreat came from friends of mine who had already been or were just about to go. I longed to try it too, but somehow I kept putting it off. Until one day, after 7 years, my friend from Brno turned up (he really is like a brother to me) and told me he’d just come out of the dark and that his girlfriend was going in that very weekend. So I said to myself, I’m going too.
I’d had a very hard year behind me, a year marked by total collapse ( – of life expectations and plans, of old and useless patterns of behaviour, and above all, the most beautiful part – the total collapse of the EGO). It was one big chaos, but right now I see it as something wonderful – because only now does everything make sense. And the most beautiful thing about it was that little light from above which shows you the way and lovingly guides you through darkness, uncertainty and sadness – I have a bit of experience with meditation, so I devoted myself to it faithfully.
I decided to go into the dark
So when I decided to go into the dark, I told myself I definitely wanted to get it done by the end of 2015. My friend was sceptical, though, because he said waiting times were as long as 6 months. It does happen that someone doesn’t last long in the dark and two or three days free up. But I felt I wanted to go either for the whole week or not at all. I asked at about three places whether they’d be willing to put me down as a stand-in and ring me straight away if anything came up. But they were all a bit distant and wanted to communicate by email, and that didn’t suit me at all. I don’t have time to keep checking emails, and if you don’t reply fast enough, everything gets taken straight away – in a flash. But I trusted the Universe, so I just relaxed – it will be as it’s meant to be.
So I just replied drily that if it’s meant to be, the Universe will sort it out.
About three weeks later the friend I mentioned rang me and told me to call the number he’d sent me right away and ask about a dark retreat. A whole week had come free, which happens very rarely.
So I didn’t hesitate and called. The next day it was confirmed that I was first on the stand-by list.
So I packed my things, told everyone I’d be away for a week and set off for Bohemia. Basically unprepared; I had no expectations and didn’t even have a clue what was actually waiting for me. But the Universe doesn’t send you into the dark this fast for nothing.
CLICK – and there was total darkness
When I arrived, I was told the rules.
In the cabin I laid my things out so I’d have everything to hand, then came one last walk outside and CLICK – total darkness.
I sat in silence and watched everything come to a stop. There were no problems of everyday life, no noise and pressure of the system, no illusion of time, not even any thoughts. I just sat in presence and silence. It was amazing. The first day was the longest of all – it was all about “I AM”. In between observing the silence I just slept, always stretched a bit – relaxed – and meditated. The meditations were very strong and intense – focused more on relaxing the mind, an overall cleansing and a refining of vibrations. But it was still silent (and dark) – nothing was happening.
On the third day I felt so good that I had a wonderful fit of laughter and couldn’t stop laughing. Maybe you know it from childhood, or at least that’s what it reminded me of. An amazing feeling of peace and safety washed over me. I lay down on the bed and that’s when it started. From Tuesday to Friday it was one continuous conversation. I can’t even put it into words.
I asked about the things that came to mind. About the people around me. About my mission and about what lies ahead of me. It was beautiful, but also very mysterious. I didn’t forget to ask who I was actually talking to, either 😉 …
I was given pointers for my inner work for the next six months. I understood what the meaning of my life is and why I was born – all the little shards fell into place. The whole puzzle came together perfectly and revealed an amazing fragment of life.
On the last day I gradually processed all the information that had come to me. Some of it was a bit strange, in many cases even incomprehensible, because it concerned my future.
A wonderful meditation of a dark retreat
As the last day and the goodbye drew near, I realised that during the whole dark retreat I hadn’t had any feelings of anxiety, fear or uncertainty. For me the darkness was like one big, wonderful meditation, in which I understood the meaning of my life and became certain that we are never alone. That we are always given great HELP and love in every situation in life, we just have to ask for it! Because from a higher perspective, everyone respects our free will.
So, friends – ask and it shall be given to you – knock and it shall be opened to you. Walk the path of love and don’t judge – then all the processes will start by themselves.
Life is beautiful.
With love and peace in my heart
Edy
