My week in the dark
It was crystal clear to me that I would never have signed up for something like this on my own. I make no secret of the fact that I was pushed into it by someone else, someone who knew what I had no idea about, or didn’t want to admit to myself. That person is very precious to me and arguing with them was out of the question.
There was no point putting it off until tomorrow
So if I’d been given the task of doing a week in the dark, I knew I had to do something about it. There was no point putting it off until tomorrow, the day after, next week or next month. So I googled A week in the dark. Classic. The computer spat out a page of links. I clicked on the very first one. Up popped: lecba-tmou.cz. I looked through it as a possible option. Of course, I went on searching. A second option, a third… Hmm, the second one was far too sophisticated for me. They also offered complete darkness in a room with its own bathroom, but… You needed a medical check-up to confirm the candidate was healthy. On top of that they offered round-the-clock medical care in case it was needed. Naturally, the price was in a completely different league. Too high for my taste. The third one, in Slovakia, didn’t excite me.
Could it be my Czech roots?
One thing was clear to me: if I was going to experience something like this, I wanted it to be completely natural and spontaneous, with no medical supervision. Where else should I experience something so delicate than in the heart of unspoilt nature? So I went right back to the beginning and looked for more detailed information. The place? Lomec. Hmm, where might that be? I look… Čáslav. Well, it’s not the end of the world, some 300 kilometres. The offer: “Three sanctuaries: eastern, southern, western. We don’t have a northern one yet, we’re building it.” They are separate little cabins, 22 m2 in size. With heating and cooling. A shower and a flush toilet. “Meals once a day, we bring them ourselves.” And the decision was made.
I even found a free week, from 2 to 9 September. And something led me to choose the Western Sanctuary. I filled in the form and sent it. A reply came straight back with a provisional booking.
Life went on
Life went on at its own pace, and events followed their own script. Then came a period when my resolve to go into the dark really started to waver and crack. It’s always the same: when we really need to SORT OUT something FUNDAMENTAL and MEANINGFUL in our lives, there are ALWAYS lots of complications that “stop” us from going after our goal. Of course, I was no exception. My inner “washing machine” was spinning at full speed. Yes – no, yes – no!
I started looking forward to my dark retreat.
At last Saturday 2 September dawned, and after breakfast I set off. Once YES had won, I didn’t dwell on anything any more and simply enjoyed the journey. Literally everything. What was happening around me began to take on a kind of new dimension. Colours were more colourful, scents more fragrant, people kinder.
The journey flew by
Suddenly I was there, and through all my worries I heard Tomáš’s voice: “Don’t worry! You’ll manage! It’s nothing. You just switch off the light when you’re ready. It’s not a prison. You can go outside any time, you can switch the light on any time. It’s entirely up to you.” In the end I switched off the light.
Darkness fell
I was cold and at first nothing happened. Time dragged, and memories started running through my head of their own accord. All kinds of them, from different stages of my life, seemingly unconnected. Sometimes I had to laugh, other times I felt my inner pain again. Pain in my heart. It has actually been with me my whole life… Since early childhood.
Then came dreams and a dark rumbling
The cabin was vibrating, and, jolted out of a dream, I felt once again under attack from dark forces. Terror. I listen, I weigh it up. What do I do? It got even louder. I held my breath. And then… Of course! It’s some kind of tractor with a cultivator! It’s Monday, after all, and early morning. There are fields all around. And people need to work the soil! I smiled with relief. No invasion of negative energies was taking place!
Nothing extraordinary or supernatural happened
I’d read more than enough beforehand, so it was hard to detach myself from it all. In that state of mind I welcomed Tomáš’s visit and our conversation. It was truly inspiring and moved me a good step further. I realised that I carry the problem in my heart all the time, and it’s up to me alone how I deal with it. That I had to approach it a little differently.
Then everything got moving
I’m lying on my back and in front of me I see an image. Beautiful. Colourful, bright. Every detail sharply drawn. I drink in the sight. Then the realisation comes. It’s only a dream. I’m actually asleep and I’m just dreaming it. Hmm, so I open my eyes, and… The image hasn’t gone. I stare at it in amazement. Eyes wide open, the image unchanged. It’s there! GOD! You’re a magician! I’m not asleep and I can see your creation. It’s completely real! Thank you, GOD!!!
Tomorrow Saturday will dawn
The days filled up one after another, and I realised it was Friday. Tomorrow Saturday would dawn and I would go home. At last! At last? Do I actually want that? Not really. I smiled. I knew it was nonsense. Of course I wanted to go home!
So when Saturday morning dawned, I opened the front door – and… I took a deep breath and savoured it. The dawn, the fresh air and the unbelievable pleasure of the open space of unspoilt nature.
After that there was only: “Thank you once again for everything, Tomáš and Lenka!”, and the drive home. My mission was accomplished. I allowed myself to TRUST AND BELIEVE IN PEOPLE AND IN MYSELF!
