Hi there,
I’m writing a bit late about my experience of my week-long retreat in the dark. I went into it thinking I’d spend most of the time meditating – I used to do yoga, and we’d meditate there now and then. Since I’d enjoyed it, I planned to go all in on meditation in the dark. But no such luck – meditation just wouldn’t happen for me in there, not one bit. So I had to find something else to do, and in my case that was making up stories. I’d set up some theme and situation in my mind and then let my imagination turn it into a story. I just watched as an independent observer to see what would develop, what my imagination would come up with and where the story would take me.
My imagination behaved like the seed of a desert rose
The seed waits for years in the drought until the rain comes, and then it can burst into beautiful bloom. In the same way, in normal life my imagination was chained up, but in the long darkness the shackles fell away and my imagination went into overdrive. I was surprised myself at everything my conscious (or subconscious) mind was capable of inventing. While watching my fantasies I was in a kind of trance or half-sleep, and time flew by. But when I didn’t occupy my mind with anything in the dark, I got bored and time dragged terribly.
Another thing worth mentioning was the dreams
Never in my life have I had such real dreams – ones I remembered after waking up and in which I could (sometimes) feel what the dream characters were feeling. On one occasion the dream was still playing out when I was already awake. I think that state is called lucid dreaming.
Meals
I quite liked your vegetarian food (apart from that pumpkin soup I had at the end), but I was craving meat so badly that on the way home I had to stop at the first petrol station and get a meat baguette. I haven’t enjoyed anything so much in ages.
I also have one practical comment. When I came out of the cabin half-blind after a week, a twig from a tree or bush poked me in the eye right outside the door. The same thing happened again a few minutes later when I was walking round the garden in the early-morning half-light. I’d recommend trimming those branches so that taller people like me) aren’t at risk of this.
Finally, I owe you an explanation
When the two of you took turns coming to the cabin with my food, you both struck me as really lovely people. I’d planned to wait for you both that Saturday after the retreat ended and have a proper chat… but after I came out of the cabin I was hit by such homesickness that after an hour of acclimatising I simply got in the car and drove off.
Pavel
