At first I was scared, I felt anxious, but by the very next day it had passed…
I did a lot of thinking
I realised one thing in there: that I like a certain guy and that I want to be with him. I’d never really fancied him before. He was my car mechanic, he’d asked me out lots of times but I always said no. Yet in the dark I kept thinking about him.
I went back over my whole life in there, all my relationships, all the men in my life, and he crept into my head…
As if it was meant to be…
Even though I didn’t want it and tried to push it away, I couldn’t… As if it was meant to be… I couldn’t let it go, so in the end I messaged him and we went out together.
It was a Sunday. The day after I came out of the dark. My mind was still open and I was taking everything differently than before. My horoscope that day said I shouldn’t sit at home, because I might miss a fateful meeting and love could slip through my fingers. I’m a Sagittarius and, as it happens, so is he.
So we went out, and in the end we ended up lying on the grass on the housing estate between the blocks of flats, watching the stars for about 2 hours… It was as if time had stopped… It was beautiful…
And we’ve been together ever since…
It was as if lightning had struck us. It happened unplanned and unexpectedly… For the first time in ages I fell in love. And it’s mutual, but it was different from any time before. As if it was fate. I couldn’t understand it… As if the darkness was behind it. Behind me realising it in there.
I think if I hadn’t gone into the dark, it would never have happened. I’d never have dreamt I’d end up with him of all people. That was probably the best thing the darkness gave me.
I forgave my mum
Another thing was that I forgave my mother for my messed-up childhood, and our relationship has got so much better. I can talk to her normally now and I don’t blow up every time she comes out with something stupid. I’ve accepted her as she is… Before the dark I blew up every single time, but when I came out it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off my heart and I felt relieved.
My life has really got better
I found love and made peace with my mum. That’s what the darkness gave me and I’m so grateful for it.
The talks with Lenča helped me a lot too. She chatted with me and it meant a great deal to me.
Thank you! Keep doing it, you’re good at it 🙂
Wishing you all the best
Iva
