Hi, I wanted to write to you as soon as possible, but you know how it is – you keep putting it off until you don’t write anything at all. And yet my dark retreat was such a powerful experience! I had been planning it for several years, but it never worked out. Then suddenly, through an unexpected chain of events, it miraculously happened. I came to you more or less in secret. I didn’t know much about it, but something simply drew me there.
Discovering that darkness isn’t black
The week in the dark itself was really lovely. It was nice to have a comfortable bed and a warm floor, where I spent a lot of time. The food was different from what I’m used to, but it tasted really good – and above all, those portions! They were so big I couldn’t even finish them. Thanks to your tips, I even managed to make myself tea in the dark without spilling it over myself.
The biggest surprise for me was discovering that darkness isn’t black or scary at all, but beautiful and colourful. If I knew how to meditate, I believe the experience would have been even deeper, but even so, the days in the dark flew by incredibly fast.
An aha moment and a digital detox in practice
I wanted to thank you so much for that precious time after the retreat ended, when we talked through my life over coffee. You managed to hold up a mirror to me. You see other people’s mistakes but not your own – and here, thanks to you, it all clicked. It was an incredible “aha moment”. This digital detox and disconnection from the outside world filled me with energy and zest for life.
Instead of rushing home after I left, I enjoyed the Christmas atmosphere in the churches in Kutná Hora. I felt independent and strong. Even meeting my children, whom I hadn’t seen for a long time, was wonderful. My change was noticeable, and the children praised me for it and for my plans.
Back to reality and new boundaries
Even though, since coming home, the enthusiasm sometimes fades a little and the old ruts try to pull me back, I can see big changes in myself. I’ve learnt to set boundaries with my family, and they’ve started to respect them. I observe myself more, I don’t let myself get carried away by negative emotions and I try to stay calm.
I’ve changed my wardrobe from black to colourful, started doing a bit of sport and, above all, smiling more and talking to people. I feel good, things are going well at work and I’m no longer afraid to speak up when I need to know something. I no longer care what others think of me – what matters is that I feel good and don’t have to be ashamed.
All in all, the dark retreat and your words have changed me for the better. I still have a way to go to full independence, but I’m already doing cold exposure, talking more with my children and I feel I’m on a good path.
Thank you both so much for everything.
Lenka
