It started long before the dark retreat
For me, so-called darkness therapy began long before I actually arrived. The closer my start in the sanctuary got, the more nervous I felt. I had set aside a week in my calendar so I’d have more time to meditate and think about my planned stay. I didn’t quite stick to that 🙂 but I thought more and more about it and paid attention to my feelings and to the synchronicities happening around me. The solar eclipse the day before I went in felt symbolic to me. I visited my family to say goodbye, spent the morning of the last day with my girlfriend and then set off. I took a little drum and a few talismans with me 🙂 I took an mp3 player with a dark display, with my favourite songs and favourite audiobooks on spiritual growth. In the dark I wanted to get to know my deeper self, my divinity, and get into the space between thoughts, calm them and stop identifying with them. I saw it as the next step in my inner development.
Arrival and getting to know the place
I got a bit lost for a moment, but in the end I arrived at about 4 in the afternoon. I was welcomed by Tomáš with his calm, friendly and positive energy, and by his loving kids, who straight away radiated a beautiful freedom, ease and honesty. That had a really positive effect on me, and so did their giant welcoming doggo Charlie.
Tomáš helped me with my things and showed me the cabin. He explained the signals for when food is brought, told me how everything works, that I could still walk round the garden and that whenever I felt ready I could turn off the light and begin my stay in the cabin. Then Lenka came along and asked me what I don’t eat, about allergies and so on, because she was the one who looked after me the whole time. She brought the food I enjoyed so much during my dark retreat – I’ll never forget the amazing mushroom risotto or the fruit dumplings! 🙂 It was fun not to be told what was for dinner and to work it out for myself in the dark 🙂 Lenka always chatted with me for a bit, which helps a lot, and she had a feel for when it was a good moment for me to talk with Tomáš too, who normally didn’t come to the cabin every day.
As soon as she left, my nerves got even worse. First I tried turning the light off for just about 2 minutes to “see” what was waiting for me, and I have to say I really struggled with whether I’d be able to stay in the dark at all. I settled in and walked round the cabin, called my girlfriend to tell her how it felt and say goodbye. I took one last look at the sun and switched off the light…
A stay in the dark cabin, or into warrior mode
A few minutes after switching off the light, my nerves let go and I calmed down. I won’t describe the stay itself in detail, so I don’t push my feelings onto others. What happened in the dark was mainly an amplification of my inner feelings. Throughout our lives, all our belief systems and emotions wrap themselves around our soul, and gradually, instead of with our inner self, we start to identify with our ego, with our store of emotions and thoughts. As Tomáš explained to me so beautifully, the darkness can draw this out of us, peel off these layers of fear and reveal our divinity. He explained nicely how important it is not to suppress the emotions we carry inside, because that causes pain as the soul tries to get out through them – to express itself – but the ego doesn’t want to let go of that shell of emotions. I learned to accept these emotions, not to resist them but to surrender to them, and even though it may not be pleasant, it’s important to overcome the fear, because you find out that nothing can happen to YOU 🙂
I think it’s very important not to be afraid to talk about it. To have a chat with Tomáš, who has an incredible sensitivity and experience that can really help you.
After the dark retreat
Coming out into the light was simply enchanting. I felt like an astronaut who had landed on the moon. As day broke, I watched the beauty of Mother Earth; everything was wonderful. I got a warm welcome from Charlie and then from the whole family. We talked, drank a green smoothie, I went for a few more walks in nature, said goodbye to the cabin and the whole family, and off I went…
It’s important to mention that just as the start of the stay had an effect on me several days in advance, the end keeps playing out too. Through my dark retreat I’ve gained a greater awareness of myself and above all a heightened sense of how the whole communicates. I notice lots of details happening around me, and the synchronicity that’s showing up for me is unbelievable!
Thanks to that, I’ve been able to keep working on the problems the darkness showed me even after it ended – my heightened sense of fate guided me there beautifully!
Some take five steps, some take one, but what matters is moving forward. I wish everyone lots of luck and love! And thanks to everyone who ventures into the dark.
Filip
