A flood of love

Imagine a moment when time stops completely and all you perceive is the depth of your own thoughts and the beating of your heart. Today we bring you an account of a journey that began as a long-held dream and ended in an unexpected flood of inner light. Read an honest story of what happens when a person decides to switch off the outside world for seven days and simply be. This experience shows that darkness therapy opens the door to themes we so often overlook in the everyday rush.

Why I chose a whole week in seclusion

I’m so glad I did the whole thing. Not just three days, but a full week, because it was only after those three days that the real ride actually began. It was simply wonderful and I hope the feeling I found in myself here lasts at least for a while. I’d wished for this experience for several years, but I kept telling myself it wasn’t the right time yet. I wanted to calm down a little first and get things in my life in order, so that I wouldn’t bring something with me that would pass straight away. Then my friends and family gave me a dark retreat for my birthday at exactly the right time. It was a very good decision, because the strongest grace and love only came in the second half of the week.

A flood of love and inner freedom

In that deep darkness I found absolute love for everything – for myself, for people and for nature. It was a complete flood of love and a feeling I can hardly put into words. Of course, at times it was also very hard, but actually it was quite manageable. When I expect in advance that an experience like this will bring some harder moments too, I cope with them better. As soon as something came up that annoyed or troubled me, all I had to do was say it out loud. I just spoke it, and suddenly it vanished. In place of the trouble, love, forgiveness, grace and light appeared. The greatest intensity only came after those opening days, when I was finally able to relax completely.

An unexpected order in my daily silence

I did sleep through the whole of the first day, but then I was surprised to find I’d created my own routine. Normally I’m quite chaotic and have no fixed system for when to get up or go to sleep. Here, though, I was in complete order and did every activity at the same moment. I knew exactly where I’d put my mug, when I’d go for a wee, when I’d exercise or when I’d play the guitar. I had no idea at all whether I was sleeping little or a lot, or whether I was staying up at night. My only point of reference was the food, which sometimes came earlier and sometimes later. This dark retreat showed me that even in complete isolation a person can find their own inner rhythm.

Food as a gift from heaven

I always looked forward to the food enormously and kept wondering what good things there’d be this time and what dessert I’d get. One day I had to laugh out loud at how incredibly good it tasted. Soured cream with sponge biscuits was, at that moment, an absolute miracle and a gift from heaven. Overall the food simply tasted great and I savoured every mouthful with huge gratitude. That feeling of joy from an ordinary meal in complete silence is simply priceless, and you start to appreciate even the little things you take for granted outside. Every plate was an unexpected adventure of flavours for me.

My kindly bogeymen and the search for light

I did have some bogeymen, and in one spot I sometimes saw a darker patch, but they were quite kind. They weren’t evil bogeymen I’d need to be terrified of. When you really want an experience like this, you don’t need to be afraid of it beforehand. My darkness therapy wasn’t about having to overcome myself or a fear of the dark. I wanted to find the light, and I succeeded. It occurred to me that it would be good to give myself, say, an hour a day in the dark at home too, and just say what I feel or what problem I have. I believe the trouble would then disappear straight away, just as it did here. This rule of stopping in every day is something I’d definitely like to take away with me, and to hold on to that feeling of love for as long as possible.

As you can see, this journey can bring the answers you’ve been looking for for years. All it takes is the first step. What do you think, would you dare to meet yourself like this too?