The dark retreat found me on its own. Years ago I read about darkness therapy in Reflex magazine, and one winter in the mountains a friend told me that a colleague of hers had done it and how he had felt.
I couldn’t imagine what a dark retreat would be like
I had a mix of feelings: experiment, curiosity, a wish to understand. I looked up where Lomec near Úmonín was, paid the deposit and waited for my date. The nerves before I started were so thick you could cut them with a knife. I enjoyed my last sunny day, and in the early evening my girlfriend drove me off into the unknown; our hurried goodbye played on my mind later. I smoked my last cigarette, Tomáš showed me round the room with a torch and after a while locked the door.
An unforgettable week of darkness therapy began
I won’t describe my states in the sanctuary, because it is an individual experience and I don’t want to plant any feelings or visions in anyone’s mind. But after the dark, my life changed fundamentally. I try to live in the present, and all my earlier worries seem trivial. I think I’ve given up smoking, and I’ve started eating more healthily. But above all, I value my friends, my little son and my girlfriend more. It was a powerful experience for her too; we are more honest with each other and our relationship has deepened.
I want to wish all the other “travellers” nerves of steel. Try to overcome your fears, it’s worth it .)
Matěj
