Hi Lenka and Tomáš,
I started my dark retreat in December. I remember a clear, sunny day. A beautiful walk from Kutná Hora along the little Vrchlice river, past Sion to Lomec. Towards evening the landscape darkened. The sky exploded in the glow of the sunset as the sun slowly disappeared below the horizon. I was determined to experience something new, something unusual. To get to know myself better.
The sanctuary for the dark retreat
The sanctuary felt pleasant and cosy, and it was warm. I could adjust the temperature inside. Darkness!
…Agitation and worry: What am I going to do here all this time?! Time seemed endless. Emotions and self-reproach: What have I done?!
Gradually my body got used to the dark. My mind became aware of the breath and of calming down. Exercise, dancing and cold water helped me. Massaging my feet and hands. Every activity in the Sanctuary was an adventure. When I ate, I was aware of every single ingredient with intense joy. It even chased away sadness. Sometimes my emotions made me cry, and other times I laughed at myself. Self-reproach and memories hurt. Crying healed me. I learned to talk to myself. After seven days I was looking forward to going outside, and at the same time I wanted to stay inside the Sanctuary and extend my dark retreat.
Long after the retreat I still feel that I value myself more. I can show myself love and trust.
I’m grateful that I could step outside the circle of everyday worries, habits and time. To be aware of the present moment and of myself.
Thank you, and I wish you good health.
Best regards
Petr
