Hi everyone,
I’m writing a bit late, because a lot of duties piled up on me, mainly at work.
My dark retreat went smoothly, you could say, and I’d rate it as a very positive experience. I didn’t go into it with expectations, but I didn’t leave surprised either. I didn’t prepare for this retreat in any special way, although apparently I took on a lot, because I decided to spend a week in absolute darkness without any food, just on water and air, and on top of that without the guides being present.. maybe there wouldn’t be anything unusual about that, but I had never been in absolute darkness before, so I had no idea what it would be like, and I had never once in my life tried living only on water (I don’t really know why, I was probably afraid my body wouldn’t cope with the hunger or that I wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation of food, I don’t know).
Of course I had to prepare somehow, because a week without food with no preparation at all is a pretty crazy idea, I think, so for about 2 months beforehand I ate roughly once a day, mostly raw vegetables and fruit, some bread and lightly cooked meals (I don’t eat meat or meat products), or something sweet now and then, and the week before the retreat I had only pure raw vegetables and fruit to cleanse myself (I wanted to try a water-only fast too, but I couldn’t manage it). And how did I cope there? Brilliantly :), I discovered that you can live not only without food but also without light, and I needed very little water during those days. I also found out how deeply ingrained our ideas about food are, the different tastes; thoughts of food came to me fairly often, but I didn’t have any stomach pains from hunger or any extreme hunger.
I felt wonderful in the dark
The darkness accepted me absolutely and I felt wonderful there. Everything is in our heads and in our mindset; if I had been afraid of the dark, I certainly wouldn’t have had positive experiences…as Tomáš said: “If you’re afraid of something, it will materialise for you in the dark.” So I wasn’t afraid, and that’s why I only had lovely experiences. In the dark I didn’t work through any personal problems either, because I try to deal with those in the light :). But there is space and time there for a personal conversation and for everything you need to resolve, nobody and nothing disturbs you, and answers come to all your questions.
So to everyone who has decided to spend time in absolute darkness, or is just thinking about it, I wish you no fear (there’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s all about your mindset), and I hope you relax and accept everything the darkness offers you.
Wishing you only lovely experiences 🙂
Eva
